Link desert.

So many of the posts in my archives contain links. And frankly, a lot of them are useless. I wish I could see what on earth I was on about. Stuff like "THIS has been making me laugh all day". That's it. That's the sum total of a post, and it's just a dead link. I think, if I'm going to make this a valid reflection of my life, I have to be a little more perspicacious about dropping in links. I can recall when I learned how to do it, and then it unleashed a torrent of the damn things. All pointing this site into a myriad of other directions. I guess what I need now is just one direction: my own.

Walking

That's what I do now. All the time - and as much as possible. Looking at the stats on my phone, yesterday I managed a little over 20,000 steps. Around 17km. I absolutely love walking/hiking, and it's nice to come to the realisation  that it was something which was always there. Yesterday was a lovely walk - though a little breezy. Following the Thamesdown link, across Ashtead Park, Rookery Hill, Chalk Lane, Crampshaw Lane, Stane Street - across the M25, then following the path until a long left turn round the golf course, and back via Slough Lane into Headley. All in all, around two and a half hours. I'm not kidding when I say I'd love to be able to do it every day.

How to start the day

Or, how not to. It's been a depressing beginning, for a Wednesday. Family stuff, normal pressures. Making me feel hollowed out, and useless. So, I'll try and balance that out, by showing you how my days normally start - and how that's helped me.
In the last six months, I've managed to finally get fit, and lose some weight - part of that has been because of sobriety, but it's also a process that's happened just because it felt like it was time. I've lost 45 pounds, which is a huge amount, I know - and oddly, it's actually been rather easy. In the past, it's always been half a stone here, a stone there. But this time around, the willpower I had discovered since kicking alcohol has served me in really good stead. I just managed to find a course of action, and stick to it. Perhaps more importantly, because I've now accepted change, that process was actually a lot of fun.
I'll deal with exercise another time, but I did want to focus a little on how I changed my diet - and the biggest part of that was finding a routine that helped me out, in the morning. Breakfast is such an important meal - not just for the nutritional values it gives you, but also for the statement it makes. This is how I'm starting my day! This is what I'm doing with my life!
I needed to find something that did all of those things, and was healthy, tasty, and felt right. So here's how it pans out.
I tend to get up before everyone else. Pip sets an alarm really early - 6am. But then, tends to snooze. Me? I'm now wide awake. So, I'll get up, no real point in lying there looking at the ceiling, So, I have time to cook, and to think. Breakfast for me is quite Zen - a chance to organise food, to be methodical. And I think that trickles down to me, and the rest of my day. "Start as you mean to go on", if I had to distill it into one simple phrase.
I have Soba Noodles for Breakfast, with various drinks to accompany. Soba are just wonderful: low GI, virtually no fat, low calories, lots of protein, and fibre. I get my packets from Amazon, on a regular order - they're authentic Japanese noodles, and not expensive at all. Soba noodles need five minutes on the hob, so while they're cooking, I'll get everything else together. Fill a Japanese tea cup with Green tea. Prepare a glass of iced water. Get a vitamin pill (Centrum Men's 50+, ah, old age!) And a glass of coconut milk.
Once the noodles are cooked, they're rinsed in cold water, and drained. Into a small bowl, and then topped with two finely sliced green onions. Shaken over the top - some toasted black sesame seeds, and some Furikake. Then, add some Tsuyu broth. This gives you that real Umami kick - some sweet, some salt. It's about 100ml of broth, I guess.
And that's it. Like I said - it's about having a healthy, great breakfast, but it's also about starting the day off, on the right foot.

Adsense.

Well, I got rid of it.
I had "earned" about £1.20. In three years. They don't make any payments until you hit sixty quid - and at current rates, that was going to take another decade, or more. And looking at the blog, with adverts, it was really, really ugly. So, I'd rather do without the cash, and have this little diary of mine as a bit of an oasis, away from all of that commercial nonsense. Hope that's OK.

More Keith.

It's been preying on my mind, a little, over the past day.
I know that there's been a ton of press about what a genius he was - and how he made the Prodigy great, and how terrible that someone so gifted could throw it all away. Well, what if it was us that created the persona, not him? I'm starting to think we created the need for that cartoon genius - and Keith was bright (and sensitive!) enough to realise the gap existed, and filled in the spaces. Then, I'm thinking ti trapped him. What If he didn't really want to roll out the cartoon, again, and again? I know how this feels, and it's not great, at all. If what you do on stage, doesn't really come from the heart, then it drains your lifeforce, at an astonishing speed. I'm more heartbroken for Keith, than I was, and in a different way. I realise some people won't get this - but looking at this from the point of view of being on stage - it really hits home, to me.

A sad day.

Found out that Keith Flint has died. Really sad news- and shocking too: suicide at the age of 49. A sobering day, and a bit of a sucker punch. The Prodigy were hugely important to me, to the band, to a lot of people. For me, though - it was that first album, and the rush I got, listening to those churning breaks, and riffs. I know it was Liam doing all of that, but it was Keith expressing it, on stage. I saw them play the Camden Palace, back in '92, and Keith just made it all make sense, to me. He got to live out the dream, to live through the music. That's all I'd ever wanted, being in a band. I didn't care they weren't my songs, I just wanted to have the music to play in the background, while I could look out across a sea of faces. That's what Keith did, and he did it better than anyone. I was in awe of him, if I'm honest.
Living the dream, and living it right, is sometimes better than actually dreaming it, in the first place.

Sunday Afternoon

...and I'm feeling a little out of sorts, myself. A little bit of the willpower I've gathered around food, and snacking too much, seems to have evaporated. I think it's time to knock the sugary stuff on the head again, and cut back on other fripperies. I've done so well over the last six months or so, that I don't want to see that effort wasted, even a tiny bit.
The wind is picking up - there's a storm on the way, apparently. So, it's time to light a fire, tidy up the house, get the bulletin sorted for tomorrow morning.

Spanner in the works

Milo's Birthday party today - except he's just decided to throw up. So, everyone's off to the cinema without him, poor love. Also means I have him all day tomorrow. Ah well, can't be avoided. This means i'm online perhaps more than I'd anticipated, today. So might try another blog post later. I know that my posting frenzy follows a long-established pattern - hey, I'm excited by the blog! Then - ah, I can't be bothered anymore....
So, I'm going to try and keep it up this time. After all, I managed sobriety, didn't I? Looking back through the archive, I'm absolutely astounded about how much I promised, in respect of kicking the booze, and how little I delivered. However, it's also heartening to see how close I got, in 2016, which was some sort of start. I gave up, finally, in September 2016.
Sobriety, above all else, is a battle of willpower, and If I won that battle, maybe i can do the same thing with Blog posts.
As I've said so, so many times, we'll see.

One of the best things about archives

Is seeing, and listening to what you were inspired by, so many years ago. I've found a few things that made the years fall away - The Upper Room, Trespassers William....but top of the pile has to be this. Some absolutely gorgeous Japanese minimal glitch-techno ambience. Phew. How fantastic is this? Above all, it reminds me of the train to Brighton. Sitting there, looking out of the window - past Thornton Heath, or Wandsworth Common, or Merstham, Horley - travelling home, when that was home. After a day of work in London, knowing that the seaside beckoned. No matter how packed, crazy, or delayed that train was - it was always a pleasure to relax, and leave my cares behind. This was the soundtrack to that journey, so many times. Listening to it, even now - I can hear why.

Need to get this out there

As a descriptive post, for where I am, and what I'm doing. I've had a little look back through the archives, and a lot of posts seem  to be anchored around times, places, and snapshots of my life.
So, I'm on the bed, it's a grey March morning. The cat is next to me, purring quietly. The kids are watching telly (Marnie) and playing PS4 (Milo). I've had my Soba noodles for breakfast, and I'm going to think about a stroll on the common, once Pip gets back from the gym.
The common has been a big thing for me, over the past six months. I've walked at least four miles a day, most days of the week. That's one of the reasons I'm skinnier than I was. That, and completely giving up alcohol. I read back through the archives, last night, and was astounded how much I used to drink, but also how much I revelled in it. Those days are gone.

Life's good. I mean - well, it always is, but it's good, this morning, it really is.

Another one of those"Hey, where did the time go?" posts

Ugh.
How long has it been? Social media has made blogging a bit redundant, for me - and I can't help thinking that's a real shame.
So, I'm going to try and put stuff up again, for the hell of it.
I've managed to turn a lot of things around, in the last couple of years, so being able to document some of those things will be ....beneficial, I think.
Plus, I've been looking back at the archives for this blog, and I always think how much I absolutely LOVED writing it. With that in mind, I've also decided to do a design revert - and take it back to the old school. This Orange theme was the first I ever used, IIRC. It's nice to have it back.

More change

And this one is odd. I've started to think I've got it wrong about CD's, and remasters. I thought that a remaster couldn't be anything but an improvement, but I've just had to go out and buy a dozen original Genesis albums, as the remastered CD's were just awful. Original CD's give me the chance to hear things as I did, when I first heard the albums. Am I just growing old? Or do I crave that link to my past?
I need to delve deeper. I'll report back.

There's always a reason...

....and it does tend to be the band.
We've just finished a run of four shows: St.Albans, Manchester, Southend, Twyford. I love getting back out there again - indeed, I seem to love it more as the years pass - but it's a lot of hard work.
I don't just mean the physical effort of playing, but just organising everything. I end up being, literally, two people. There's the person I actually am - living my life, posting on facebook, picking the kids up from school, cooking, cleaning, tidying the house. Then there's the person who writes all of the facebook/twitter/instagram for the band, and manages logistics for the tour. The two personae are so different that they tend to repel each other, slightly. And overall, it means that actually being IN the band (is that person number three??) is almost impossible to contemplate. All this means I find rehearsing a real struggle. I can't compartmentalise the specifics of what I have to do onstage, as I'm too busy thinking of whether i've a) cooked a meal for the family, or b) whether I've booked hotels for the tour.
So it's nice to decompress, after a tour. That's what today is all about.

Pleasure

I do love it, when albums reappear, in my life. Not only that, but when they are much, much better than you remembered. Case in point: "Music For Pleasure", by the Damned. The standard critical response is that it's a terrible album - a misfire after the sheer brilliance of "Damned Damned Damned"

Well, I'm listening to it again - and it's absolutely fantastic. It's aged so much better than you might have thought. The production is a little thin, and the vocals don't really gel with the tracks as well as they could - but apart from that, it's great. This is going to be stuck to Tidal, for the foreseeable future.

Hold on, where did the time go?

It's been - well, it's been busy.
I made a video for the new single, which was a somewhat tortured process, but ultimately rewarding. I used Rotor, which is a truly revolutionary way of allowing artists to make video content - I just need to practise a little more! Hopefully, I'll get that chance - the plan is to release visual montages for each of the three tracks on the forthcoming EP. So, one down, two to go.
Apart from the Joneses - change has been progressing, as ever. I'm a little lighter now, which is nice, I was a little flabby at the start of the year. I look back on some of the photos of myself in Tokyo, and wince. I'm about half a stone lighter now, which is great. A start. I've been exercising, and eating better, and the drop in alcohol consumption must have helped too.
One of the nice things about reducing my alcohol intake has been the return of my senses. I can taste, and smell things with greater clarity -  which was a huge surprise. I'm not complaining though, at this time of year, there's an ozone freshness to the air, and the smell of flowers, grasses-  even weeds, can be quite overpowering.
I'm drinking all of that in, instead.