More change

And this one is odd. I've started to think I've got it wrong about CD's, and remasters. I thought that a remaster couldn't be anything but an improvement, but I've just had to go out and buy a dozen original Genesis albums, as the remastered CD's were just awful. Original CD's give me the chance to hear things as I did, when I first heard the albums. Am I just growing old? Or do I crave that link to my past?
I need to delve deeper. I'll report back.

There's always a reason...

....and it does tend to be the band.
We've just finished a run of four shows: St.Albans, Manchester, Southend, Twyford. I love getting back out there again - indeed, I seem to love it more as the years pass - but it's a lot of hard work.
I don't just mean the physical effort of playing, but just organising everything. I end up being, literally, two people. There's the person I actually am - living my life, posting on facebook, picking the kids up from school, cooking, cleaning, tidying the house. Then there's the person who writes all of the facebook/twitter/instagram for the band, and manages logistics for the tour. The two personae are so different that they tend to repel each other, slightly. And overall, it means that actually being IN the band (is that person number three??) is almost impossible to contemplate. All this means I find rehearsing a real struggle. I can't compartmentalise the specifics of what I have to do onstage, as I'm too busy thinking of whether i've a) cooked a meal for the family, or b) whether I've booked hotels for the tour.
So it's nice to decompress, after a tour. That's what today is all about.

Pleasure

I do love it, when albums reappear, in my life. Not only that, but when they are much, much better than you remembered. Case in point: "Music For Pleasure", by the Damned. The standard critical response is that it's a terrible album - a misfire after the sheer brilliance of "Damned Damned Damned"

Well, I'm listening to it again - and it's absolutely fantastic. It's aged so much better than you might have thought. The production is a little thin, and the vocals don't really gel with the tracks as well as they could - but apart from that, it's great. This is going to be stuck to Tidal, for the foreseeable future.

Hold on, where did the time go?

It's been - well, it's been busy.
I made a video for the new single, which was a somewhat tortured process, but ultimately rewarding. I used Rotor, which is a truly revolutionary way of allowing artists to make video content - I just need to practise a little more! Hopefully, I'll get that chance - the plan is to release visual montages for each of the three tracks on the forthcoming EP. So, one down, two to go.
Apart from the Joneses - change has been progressing, as ever. I'm a little lighter now, which is nice, I was a little flabby at the start of the year. I look back on some of the photos of myself in Tokyo, and wince. I'm about half a stone lighter now, which is great. A start. I've been exercising, and eating better, and the drop in alcohol consumption must have helped too.
One of the nice things about reducing my alcohol intake has been the return of my senses. I can taste, and smell things with greater clarity -  which was a huge surprise. I'm not complaining though, at this time of year, there's an ozone freshness to the air, and the smell of flowers, grasses-  even weeds, can be quite overpowering.
I'm drinking all of that in, instead.

Oops.

I vanished for a few days.
Y'know, after a few years where I really didn't bother at all, I'm sure it's nothing, to some of you. But it does feel odd now, to me. I like how that's changed. I've got a sense of responsibility back, for this little blog. I must take care of it, as it bumps along the bottom, of a web that doesn't really care too much. If I don't take care of it - who will?
Anyway. What's been happening? Well, my ligaments are still aching. It's been going on for a few months now, and I'm getting tired of it. I had a brief interlude where what felt like  dislocated bone in my hand reset itself - but the pain is till there. I have more movement than I did, so I'm hoping it is just ligaments. We'll see. If it doesn't calm down any further by next week, a visit to the hospital may be called for.
Changes to my life? It's time for more exercise, I think. It's been too long, and I was getting rather rotund, at the start of the year. the lack of booze over the ensuing months has certainly helped, but I can, and will do more.
For now, it's been swimming, but I'll expand that to cycling, soon.
Without falling off, obviously.

Cognitive Dissonance.

Well, this certainly brings back some memories. A hotel, just off Times Square in NYC. A boy who thought he owned the town, who walked through those streets like he was born to do it. The shops full of Walkmans, discmans, hyper colour t-shirts. New York was a riot of colour, and excitement.
Breakfast was at the Amsterdam diner, on Amsterdam Avenue, every day. Two eggs over easy, bacon on the side, whole wheat down. Fuel to kill the previous night's hangover.
And there was music, everywhere. I was plugged into my Walkman, 24-7. Failing that, the tour bus stereo was always on. I just ...devoured music at that point. Ingesting the sounds like I was with all the other substances flying around me.

I would run down to Tower, and restock, whenever i could. This is the opening track from the Wim Mertens album "A Man Of No Fortune And With A Name To Come". I bought it, ran back to the room, and there was an impromptu, rather hazy party, while this played in the background. I'm going to gloss over the details, it's for the best.
I miss New York.

Chrome Life

I do all of my work, most of my blogging - in fact, pretty much everything on Chromebook. Thinking about it now, it fits into the change I've been trying to achieve. It's lighter, cheaper, simpler. It's a rationalisation of my tech settings.
I like that I can search for simpler solutions: is there a chrome app instead of software? is there a cloud-based storage answer? I've changed a lot of my previous habits: chiefly, I no longer rely on huge storage-based software like iTunes and iPhoto. Google photos has sorted all my photos, and cured my need for a huge hard drive. iTunes? Well, it just feels like bloatware now, and I only really use it for organising files within Rekordbox.
I've had a macbook air, but just stopped using it. My iPad? That's just for playing pinball. I do use the iPhone 5s for most of my mobile needs, but the Chromebook really is the hub for everything.

I tripled my ad earnings with Adsense!

Yes, that's right! My balance is now 23 pence - that's up from 8 pence.
I have no idea what I'm going to do with all that money. I may retire. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Bahamas.

Validation

Since I started looking to see if I could change, be a nicer person, I've been trying to let go of some of my anger. Anger isn't a great thing for me - it feels destructive, and negative, and it doesn't energise me in any way whatsoever.
For me, change is about trying to retain, and then own, control over myself. I should be the one in charge, yet so much of life sometimes feels a little like...drift. And realising this has really helped.
Example - you're sitting in traffic, and get to a narrow point in the road, only one car can get through. You stop, let the guy at the other end have his turn. He drives past - and doesn't wave, doesn't acknowledge you at all, doesn't say thanks. Happens all the time to me, especially in London. Drivers can be dicks, basically. You sit there, cursing under your breath: "great!, yeah, thanks very much - nice one". Black waves of anger, crashing around the car.
Happened again today, and before all the usual feelings boiled up, I realised I'd passed over control of this situation to the other guy. I was waiting for validation of my kindness. When it didn't arrive, I wondered why I'd bothered in the first place. Then, I thought - well, if he doesn't acknowledge what I've done, does that negate my kindness? No. Only if I let it.
And I realised I didn't want that to happen. If I'm in charge, I want to know that kindness, even if it's ignored, is still kindness. The focus shifted back to me, and I felt good about my actions, no matter what the results were.
It's a small step, but it feels bigger than that, somehow.
I'll run with this one, see what happens.

Monday Monday.

A long day, but a fun one. Odd, really - I spent a lot of it traipsing round kitchen showrooms, looking at worktops and testing drawer mechanisms. Yes, we're going to get a new kitchen.
Seriously, if you had any small, lingering hopes that I was still some sort of rock god, now might be the time to finally jettison those dreams. Life is rather genteel, for me now.
So - we headed off to Wren Kitchens in Guildford, then Magnet, over the road. Hilariously, both shops seem to spend a vast amount of time and effort demonstrating how they're better than each other, and looking down their nose at the competition, despite the fact they're practically next door to each other. How does that work? Do you snub workers from the other store when you see them on the bus? Ignore them in the local pub? What if your mate works for the opposition?
Perhaps more revealing was the fact that the kitchens from both shops seemed to be exactly the same anyway. As far as I can make out, it'll all look much the same, apart from the "bling" elements. This means the worktop, and the splashback. Do we use Corian, or glass? I'm not having any of that Granite nonsense (I've got a Granite worktop at the moment, and actually hate it). Also, the trend at the moment seems to favour flecks, glitter, sparkles, textures, and.....fancy stuff. That's not happening. Oh no.
But, enough of that.
I'm now pondering what to cook for tonight's meal. Should it be my old standby, tortellini in brodo, or trout fillets with cavolo nero? I'm really not sure.
I'll look out the window, just a little longer, and wait for inspiration.

Ads.

You may have noticed (hey, who am I kidding, I'm not sure anybody actually reads this blog) that I've put some adsense ads on the site. I'm not entirely sure why: it breaks the artistic integrity of the page (he said, snootily) and it's....well, it's a sell-out, isn't it?
But, in the spirit of change, I've decided that I might as well give it a go. My earnings to date, over the history of this little blog, have been eight pennies. So I'm not expecting fame and fortune. I just wanted to see what happens. Curiosity has got the better of me, again.
In other news, the lyrics to "Right Here Right Now" are going to be in The Rock'n'Roll Hall Of Fame. I'm sending them, via FedEx, tomorrow. Very odd to think that this little song, which Mike wrote in that grotty flat, at 210a Chapter Road, in Dollis Hill, has travelled so far.
Right, time to get back to CDNX stuff. I've not really explained a lot about CDNX, have I?
Well, it's a new Radio station. My third (or fourth) venture into the medium. There was Xfm, then NME Radio, then the Music Machine, and now this. I've been reading the music news bulletins for some time, and there's the very real possibility i might end up doing an actual show, later this year. I'll keep you all posted.

More change.

..and one of the things that I'm obsessed with, in the process of change, is the personal challenge: can I do things differently? What happens if I change my behaviour incrementally? It's fun to know that I can - and that the process of change is seldom disruptive.
So - the latest lifetweak: read more books. Nice and simple. Went to the charity shop yesterday, picked up a copy of "A Town Like Alice". That's a good place to start, isn't it?
No screens at bedtime - no phone, no laptop, no iPad. Jump in the shower, jump into bed, read.
Will be interesting to see how long I can keep this up - and how many books I can get through.

More rediscovery.

This article had me running back the The Sound albums. Boy, they were great. If you're not aware, I suggest you investigate, pronto.
Other things happened to me today. I was musing on how easily I'd been able to give up alcohol (for periods at a time, obviously), but how I still surrounded myself with things which didn't really do me much good. So, I'm cutting down on anger. On arguments, and negativity. All of those things create a climate of anger, which builds, and builds, until it dissipates, one way or another. Sometimes anger can be an energy (as someone famously said) but for me, I didn't like the unpredictable nature of release.
So - facebook groups that launch into arguments, bad drivers, internet comments - things will have to go.
And will I miss them?
No.

Stormy Weather.

I'm not sure if it's a hurricane, or a tropical storm. Or a winter storm. Actually, I think it's "Storm Katie". Whatever, it's battering at the windows, as I sit typing this. I've always loved sitting watching the rain, through the garden windows. I did it a lot as a kid, and I still do it now. It's the juxtaposition, isn't it? Between chaos and calm, warmth, and cold. Wet and dry. To experience both states, at once, sort of.
The long Easter weekend continues, but with slightly less tantrums today. That's a blessed relief, let me tell you. And we get to cap it all off with a night out. We're off to the Caballo Lounge in Epsom, with Clare & Damien. Not sure whether I'll have Tapas (which I did before) or head off into the outer reaches of the menu. As long as I have my weekly drink with it, I guess I'll be OK.
Starting to think about my next DJ stint, which is at the BFLF gig in Hackney. My head's full of breakbeat hardcore, as I think what to play. No bad thing, I guess.

Easter.

A couple of weeks with Marnie, and a long Weekend with Milo. so, as you might expect, lots of stress, arguments and tantrums. Hey, that's the joy of children, right?
It's been a long day - my UP thing tells me I did over 10,000 steps, and that was even after I'd spent a few hours in the cinema (watching Zootropolis). I'm now in bed, ready to sleep the sleep of the just.
Tomorrow night is a beer night! My first alcohol for over a week, how odd.