A look back at the year

 Well, that was....interesting, wasn't it? Another year of uncertainty, and drift. Stress levels off the charts, at points. It was one of those years that - while I wouldn't say "forget it" - I'd certainly just use it as a mere building block, for better things. Perhaps the best thing for me has been the advent of my training: properly organising my fitness levels, and structuring a way to maintain, and improve that fitness. It's kept me focused, and energised. It's given me a reason to get out there and cycle around this beautiful county. It's given me a way to sit on an indoor bike when the elements are fighting me just a little too hard.

And - the year has been marked by the return of my blog, for which I'm also very thankful. The page has been an anchor, at certain points over the last couple of decades, I'd like that to continue. 

It's been a year of some wonderful music, as well. There have been some years that have struggled to make an impact, musically: these have periodically popped up, since around the mid-2000s. But last year was another vintage crop.  I'll have a go at embedding a Spotify playlist in a blogger gadget, perhaps *sigh*

But I'd better head off - it's time to head up another hill - the last of the year. Take care, stay safe, I'll see you all on the other side x

God bless us all, everyone.

 Have a Goth Xmas! Well, have any sort of Xmas, basically. As long as you're all safe and healthy, and you're happy and fulfilled - that's good enough for me. 

It's been a good day here - lots of food, lots of presents, not too many arguments, not too much stress. That bloody head cold still refuses to shift, which is a bit of a nightmare. Still testing negative (I think it's nine in a row, and 11 in a 2 week period) but I'm left with an annoying little cough, and what feels like a head that's entirely composed of cotton wool.  I'm dog tired, too. Need to recharge my batteries. Mind you, it's also a week where I need to maintain pressure on my cycling training as well. There will be a Wanyudo club ride tomorrow - got to keep on keepin' on. 

Spinning out of control

 

Well, it might have been a bit of a headcold yesterday, but it REALLY hit me, today. Of course, this means I'm at the "constantly talking about my illness" stage of my illness, so I'm hoping it has peaked. I felt truly horrid this morning, but as the day has passed, I've begun to feel a little better. 

The Chris Cohen album has helped. It's been a day of drift, of time just....passing me by. If you've read any of my posts over the last week or so, you will probably have guessed that is something of a relief. 

I'm going to have some soba noodles, and (hopefully) an early night. That should do it. 

Another busy week

 And it was packed full of riding, which was good (in the circumstances). The way everything's going, lockdown-wise, it might soon be the only escape from yet another period of enforced isolation. Oh well.

But, it's been hectic, that's for sure. As Xmas approaches, the time seems to vanish from underneath me. Plus, I managed to get another cold (no, nothing worse - still testing negative on the LFT). So, tonight I'm sitting here feeling somewhat sorry for myself, wondering whether to take another dose of Paracetamol or not. A proper head cold means my head is spinning a little, but I did still manage to get onto the trainer, for some Wanyudo action, in the morning. A brief trip to Paris-Roubaix (minus the cobbles, obv)

I'm off to get my head together. More tomorrow.

The magic inbetween.

 I was thinking about magnets today. 

Yeah, I know - meme time, right?

But anyway - thinking about how you can't see the magic, the actual stuff that boggles your mind. Magnetism is the magic you can't see, that happens between the magnets that you can see. The space in between, that contains all of the wonders, and the indefinable things that occur in the distance between a blink of the eyes, and the drawing of a breath.

All of this hit me when I was walking across Waterloo Bridge, on my way to lunch with two of my oldest friends and companions. Back in London, for the first time in well over a year. Back in the city I love, in the city that raised me. I looked all around, and suddenly saw everything that happened in that space. I could see myself, in cabs, crossing the rainy streets of the embankment at dawn. Walking arm in arm with a lover, along the pavement. Running through these back streets and alleys, catching trains and tubes. On my way to meetings, to a job, to a photo session, to meet friends, or just to kill time.

Now, that time was reversing, and coming right back at me: the memories tumbled back through my mind, so fast and intensely that I actually gasped. I could see everything I was then, everything I was now. Both parts of my life, happening at the same time. I've always thought that time isn't linear, it's like a ripple. We're not on a straight path, from birth to death - our entire existence surrounds us, constantly. What has been, and what will be, circling ourselves in the present. I was momentarily lost in the wonder of it all. To be encircled by your life, to see it all laid out like that was hugely moving. And it wasn't maudlin, either: no weeping for what was past, only a sense of gratitude for a life lived, and for the experience and knowledge that it imparts. 

I walked over the bridge and headed towards the Strand, full of life, and love, and London. 

Where did my week go?

 I've no idea, but somehow it vanished. Some cycling (but not enough) some jobs around the house (the leaking shower was finally repaired) and a lot of.......hustle and bustle.

But this weekend brought with it some DJ'ing, which was an absolute joy. Looking at the news, with the latest Covid developments, it really doesn't look good - to the point where today's time on the decks could conceivably be the last for a little while longer than planned. Let's see. That's my DJ partner Dylan in the photos, as we're rocking the crowd yet again. It was spectacularly successful et, I think: lots of new tunes, lots of exploration, and evolution, when it comes to sound. To be somewhat nerdy, we managed to do so much more, with fewer "ramps". These are the points in the set where you would otherwise give the tempo a nudge, kick it up by a BPM or two, and change the intensity of the tunes. Today, we operated between around 124 and 129 for a good sixty or seventy minutes; and we still managed to pack a lot in. I'm proud of what we can do, when we put our minds to it.

Col D'Aspin

 

Well, that's what it looks like IRL, of course - and I was on the trainer, the whole time - but, even so; what a wonderful way to while away an hour. 

Or, a bit less. I actually hammered up there in about 43 minutes, took two and a half minutes of my previous time, and spent 40% of my time in Zone 5. I'm not sure how I didn't actually explode.

Today - a good day though. After dropping Milo off at school, we headed over to Wisley, to buy Xmas gifts, and a wreath for the front door. After that, some chores (old clothes to the charity shop) and a visit to Ashtead Garden Centre for a light lunch. Despite the appalling weather (storm Barra) it's been a good 'un. And I'm fully intending to wrap the day up by reading some more of "London Belongs To Me", which I've become obsessed with. What an incredible book! I do love reading - it's difficult to find books that replace the ease of just nibbling about on the 'net, but when I find one, I tend to hold onto it, as tight as possible. The same thing happened with Murakami. 

遠くの愛好家

 Or, to be more precise - "Distant Lovers". 

After feeling VERY frazzled yesterday (did you notice?), my mental health seems to have recovered, today. Thank goodness for that. In no small part, it was down to songs like this - from one of the greatest Vaporwave albums, ever.  "Birth Of a New Day", by HKE and Telepath  - or 2 8 1 4. If you've never heard any Vaporwave, or you're predisposed to be cynical of the genre, please, give this a try - it's amazing.

I listened to the entire album, whilst rolling, at considerable speed, down the Passo dell Erbe, in the Dolomites. Hurrah! for Bkool and cycling, generally. Truly, I needed it today.

Busy weekend.

 That was actually taken on Friday. It seems like a lifetime ago. This weekend has exhausted me, I feel frazzled - on the edge, if I'm honest. My energy has deserted, amidst all of the activity. There have been children's birthday parties, swimming galas. There have been decorations coming out of the loft, trees to get up, a house to prepare. Christmas always feels like some sort of mad race, to the end of the year now, and that lurch, when the race starts, is disconcerting. I need to get back to solid ground, tomorrow. I need to feel a little less marooned. Sorry for unloading, but what else is a blog for, eh?

Ho Ho Ho

 It actually felt a bit Christmassy today, waking up to a dusting of snow. Plus, the preparations have started, the advent calendars are being opened, etc. It'll all ramp up, from here on in. 

My week on the trainer has continued apace, with a LOT of hills. Since Sunday, I've done 2300 metres of elevation. I've decided not to focus so much on distance - just want to get climbing. That's an area where the smart trainer excels. Doing more than an hour or so is a bit of a chore, so it makes sense for that hour to be as intense as possible. It has made me rethink a lot of things - chiefly, how small a lot of the hills I ride in the real world actually are. In the past few days, I've done climbs which are - say - ten kilometres long, climbing all that way, at an average of seven, to eight per cent. That's akin to doing something like Box Hill, except it doesn't stop at the top, it keeps going, for another three or four times.

I'm hoping it gives me some increased stamina, come the start of next season!