Oops.

I vanished for a few days.
Y'know, after a few years where I really didn't bother at all, I'm sure it's nothing, to some of you. But it does feel odd now, to me. I like how that's changed. I've got a sense of responsibility back, for this little blog. I must take care of it, as it bumps along the bottom, of a web that doesn't really care too much. If I don't take care of it - who will?
Anyway. What's been happening? Well, my ligaments are still aching. It's been going on for a few months now, and I'm getting tired of it. I had a brief interlude where what felt like  dislocated bone in my hand reset itself - but the pain is till there. I have more movement than I did, so I'm hoping it is just ligaments. We'll see. If it doesn't calm down any further by next week, a visit to the hospital may be called for.
Changes to my life? It's time for more exercise, I think. It's been too long, and I was getting rather rotund, at the start of the year. the lack of booze over the ensuing months has certainly helped, but I can, and will do more.
For now, it's been swimming, but I'll expand that to cycling, soon.
Without falling off, obviously.

Cognitive Dissonance.

Well, this certainly brings back some memories. A hotel, just off Times Square in NYC. A boy who thought he owned the town, who walked through those streets like he was born to do it. The shops full of Walkmans, discmans, hyper colour t-shirts. New York was a riot of colour, and excitement.
Breakfast was at the Amsterdam diner, on Amsterdam Avenue, every day. Two eggs over easy, bacon on the side, whole wheat down. Fuel to kill the previous night's hangover.
And there was music, everywhere. I was plugged into my Walkman, 24-7. Failing that, the tour bus stereo was always on. I just ...devoured music at that point. Ingesting the sounds like I was with all the other substances flying around me.

I would run down to Tower, and restock, whenever i could. This is the opening track from the Wim Mertens album "A Man Of No Fortune And With A Name To Come". I bought it, ran back to the room, and there was an impromptu, rather hazy party, while this played in the background. I'm going to gloss over the details, it's for the best.
I miss New York.

Chrome Life

I do all of my work, most of my blogging - in fact, pretty much everything on Chromebook. Thinking about it now, it fits into the change I've been trying to achieve. It's lighter, cheaper, simpler. It's a rationalisation of my tech settings.
I like that I can search for simpler solutions: is there a chrome app instead of software? is there a cloud-based storage answer? I've changed a lot of my previous habits: chiefly, I no longer rely on huge storage-based software like iTunes and iPhoto. Google photos has sorted all my photos, and cured my need for a huge hard drive. iTunes? Well, it just feels like bloatware now, and I only really use it for organising files within Rekordbox.
I've had a macbook air, but just stopped using it. My iPad? That's just for playing pinball. I do use the iPhone 5s for most of my mobile needs, but the Chromebook really is the hub for everything.

I tripled my ad earnings with Adsense!

Yes, that's right! My balance is now 23 pence - that's up from 8 pence.
I have no idea what I'm going to do with all that money. I may retire. If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Bahamas.

Validation

Since I started looking to see if I could change, be a nicer person, I've been trying to let go of some of my anger. Anger isn't a great thing for me - it feels destructive, and negative, and it doesn't energise me in any way whatsoever.
For me, change is about trying to retain, and then own, control over myself. I should be the one in charge, yet so much of life sometimes feels a little like...drift. And realising this has really helped.
Example - you're sitting in traffic, and get to a narrow point in the road, only one car can get through. You stop, let the guy at the other end have his turn. He drives past - and doesn't wave, doesn't acknowledge you at all, doesn't say thanks. Happens all the time to me, especially in London. Drivers can be dicks, basically. You sit there, cursing under your breath: "great!, yeah, thanks very much - nice one". Black waves of anger, crashing around the car.
Happened again today, and before all the usual feelings boiled up, I realised I'd passed over control of this situation to the other guy. I was waiting for validation of my kindness. When it didn't arrive, I wondered why I'd bothered in the first place. Then, I thought - well, if he doesn't acknowledge what I've done, does that negate my kindness? No. Only if I let it.
And I realised I didn't want that to happen. If I'm in charge, I want to know that kindness, even if it's ignored, is still kindness. The focus shifted back to me, and I felt good about my actions, no matter what the results were.
It's a small step, but it feels bigger than that, somehow.
I'll run with this one, see what happens.

Monday Monday.

A long day, but a fun one. Odd, really - I spent a lot of it traipsing round kitchen showrooms, looking at worktops and testing drawer mechanisms. Yes, we're going to get a new kitchen.
Seriously, if you had any small, lingering hopes that I was still some sort of rock god, now might be the time to finally jettison those dreams. Life is rather genteel, for me now.
So - we headed off to Wren Kitchens in Guildford, then Magnet, over the road. Hilariously, both shops seem to spend a vast amount of time and effort demonstrating how they're better than each other, and looking down their nose at the competition, despite the fact they're practically next door to each other. How does that work? Do you snub workers from the other store when you see them on the bus? Ignore them in the local pub? What if your mate works for the opposition?
Perhaps more revealing was the fact that the kitchens from both shops seemed to be exactly the same anyway. As far as I can make out, it'll all look much the same, apart from the "bling" elements. This means the worktop, and the splashback. Do we use Corian, or glass? I'm not having any of that Granite nonsense (I've got a Granite worktop at the moment, and actually hate it). Also, the trend at the moment seems to favour flecks, glitter, sparkles, textures, and.....fancy stuff. That's not happening. Oh no.
But, enough of that.
I'm now pondering what to cook for tonight's meal. Should it be my old standby, tortellini in brodo, or trout fillets with cavolo nero? I'm really not sure.
I'll look out the window, just a little longer, and wait for inspiration.