Torpor

That's a good way to describe today.
Last night was a large one - someone's fiftieth. So, I was drinking - it's my one day of the week. I found I enjoyed the drunk feeling, up to a point, but the hangover and lethargy of today wasn't a great deal of fun. I think the issue for me is that I like to drink, but can't ever differentiate between social bonhomie, and tying one on.
And that's what leading me to the conclusion I need to find out where that point is - identify it, and recognise it.
Otherwise, It's a regression.
Other things that happened today? Chinese food. A lot of it.
And this too -

Transference

I'm taking a little of the energy of my new-found sobriety, and channelling it. I'd like to see if I can do something. So, I'm picking up the guitar again. Time to dust off the Telecaster, and learn to play, if I can. I've spent the money I would have blown on booze, on a little practice amp - a blackstar, no less. So I can see if I can achieve something.
My goal is to take energy, and move it. From somewhere that was basically just a bit destructive, for me, into somewhere better. There are equals and opposites at work here, and I want to see if I can ride the tiger in a different direction.
Mind you - above all else, I do want to see if I can avoid being some preachy arsehole about all of this.
Drinking was fun. A lot of fun. But I'm having a different kind of fun. That's all.
And I'll still have a beer or three, once a week.

time to sleep.

One of the things about having kids, is that I now want to sleep as much as possible. It's the end of a long, tiring day, and i'm knackered. Sitting in  bed, blogging, and about to turn out the light. At quarter to ten, on a Friday evening. How's that for rock'n'roll, eh?
Another thing that's got me wanting more sleep is the whole "not drinking as much" phase i'm going through. Or, is it just a phase? The funny thing is - there's a point where drinking less alcohol becomes mixed up with actually wanting less alcohol. That's where I am at the moment. Have I lost the taste for it? I'm not sure. Philippa was off out tonight, and took a bottle of gin with her, for the ladies of the estate. Before she went, I furtively opened the bottle, and took a sniff of that lovely gin aroma (not a sip, honest) The smell? wonderful. Did I want to take a shot? Well, to be completely honest, I didn't.
Blimey, maybe I am changing. Pretty seismic, if it's true.