Apologies

For the few days that I've not posted: as ever, the Jones stuff got in the way.
We played in Manchester last weekend, at the Academy, for Gigantic. A day of worries over traffic, issues with technology, and changeovers that aren't quite long enough. But, it was one of those occasions where it doesn't matter - at all. We played an absolute blinder. At one point (in the middle of "IBYT", I think) I was overcome by an absolute wave of adrenaline, and confidence. I felt absolutely bulletproof. There was a sense of....mania, perhaps. I almost laughed, with the sheer power of it.
So, a wonderful gig.
And we stayed in West Didsbury - not one of the areas I particularly know, in Manchester, but as luck would have it, it's right next to the Southern Cemetry. One of the largest in Europe, it's a really bucolic, and meditative location - and on a Sunday morning, when I needed to get my head straight, it was perfect to just stroll around. I could feel all of my thoughts and plans, rationalising, and falling into place. It was - in a sense - the counterpoint to the mania of the night before  - but held a similar sense of amazement for me: I walked into the hotel again, feeling that I'd had some sort of Epiphany. I thought about my life, wife and children. About my hopes, and dreams. About my mortality, and my will, my strength, and my failings.
Above all, I thought about the past. There's a line in "The Devil You Know" where Mike refers to the "ghost of the past". It's always rankled me, somewhat - and it took that Cemetery walk for me to understand why. The past isn't a ghost at all - it's very much alive, for me. I don't want to live in it, or live it - but the lessons it taught me are what makes me me. the past walks by my side, as I step into the future, it holds my hand, shows me the way, silently. Everything I ever did, and everything I will do - these two strands, joined together.

I watered the lawn today

That sounds like an innuendo, doesn't it? It's not, really. But I spent a hugely pleasurable half hour, just me, and a garden hose, standing there watering the lawn. I couldn't quite believe something could be quite so calming. Very Zen. Really, I need things like this, at the moment. This year has been....frenzied, I suppose. It's been a non-stop battle with logistics, and personal life, and family. I've felt torn between all of these things, and it's left me quite down. So it's nice to zone out, every once in a while.
Time to forget, and drift, and enjoy life, has been in short supply. I think that's why the Sao Paulo trip ended up being such an absolute pleasure. It was a chance to just be me, in a hotel room, with no knock at the door, no phone ringing. Yes, there was a gig to organise - but we had a chaperone, ad most of the plans were in place. I could just get - mindful, for want of a better word. Free to take in every tiny detail, to enjoy it all, to remember it all. Even now, I can recall what it felt like to sleep in that room, the look of the city outside my window, the taste of the food. I can feel the warmth of the sun as I walked to Faria Lima station. I can feel the pavement beneath my feet, and the clouds above my head.
Every now and again - that's what you need. TO not just live life, but to connect to the process of living.

The cattle are back

They're grazing on the common again. Back for the summer months, on the high and low meadows, and Horton meadow, too.
It all makes me rather happy, if I'm honest. It's that thing about the passing of the seasons, tied up with a bit of renewal. I can remember them leaving, as the autumn was closing in - and I've spent much of the ensuing time, walking the common, tramping over the fields, the paths. I've seen the landscape change, shrink, and die back, over winter. Then, to emerge, the other side, in spring.
It all feels like a privilege, to see the process, and to feel like I'm a small part of it - even if it's just as a bystander.
Getting the cattle back is all part of it. Bring it on, I say.

Back home again

Tomorrow, lots of stuff to do. Top of the list - finish the D160 form, for the US gigs.
Some shopping, some admin.
Today was more BFLF, as me and Dylan played Fabric, which was - frankly - amazing. Would have loved to have done a proper, LOUD set, in there.
Plus, a beautiful day to travel to and from town. There was a moment, standing on the platform at Vauxhall, when the Portsmouth train hurtled through, the sun came out, and the buildings towered over me with this wondrous, friendly embrace. I felt genuinely happy, and content.

Sunrise in Sao Paulo.

Well, almost.

I'm awake, and getting ready for the day. Not a bad nights sleep, given the circumstances - I was really expecting it to be a lot tougher. I think the last crazy Jet Lag night was before the King's Arms, when we were in NZ. That was a truly impossible night - hardly any rest at all.
Last night, I passed out about 10, slept within minutes. Woke at about 1.45, then 3. Awake for about half an hour, then a couple of segments of sleep, again. So, overall, even though it was broken, I suspect I got five or six hours. Really, that's a victory, in my book. I'll need to re balance a bit - nap for an hour (no more!) this afternoon, and I might well be OK.
It's nearly six AM, so it's time to read for a while, have a shower, think about breakfast. There's a huge buffet in the hotel here, so that will set me up for the day, and will more than likely negate the need for any sort of lunch whatsoever.

Amazing.

Well, I'm here.
Back in Sao Paulo. I can't quite believe it, really. There were so many times that this entire thing felt like a pipe dream, so many times it threatened to collapse upon itself, and never get off the ground. But: we made it.

There's the view to prove it: fourteen floors up, from my hotel balcony. We're in a funky part of town, and every now and again, domestic jets absolutely SCREECH over the building, on a crazy turn from the airport. Absolute AVgeek heaven.
Anyway - what was the journey like? Well, it wasn't bad, at all. A cab ride to Heathrow (getting stuck behind a rolling roadblock on the M25 caused a momentary panic, but thankfully, it was over quickly) then, a beer with the boys, before removing myself to the lounge for some reading, food, and charging the devices. The Swiss Air flight to Zach was absolutely exemplary -it left on time, was spotlessly clean and efficient, comfortable and relaxing. We arrived for our layover on time, and it was only a brief walk to get to the train station, which took us to E gates, where the international flights depart. Then, a little light queueing, and we were on board our 777 to Sao Paulo. A good flight - and not that painful  considering it's eleven and a half hours in economy. A Thai vegetable curry (hugely spicy - bonus!) and then sleep (of sorts). A quick breakfast, and some reading, and we were heading into the airport before I knew it. Ridiculously, it then took ages to get through Immigration, and even longer to get through downtown traffic to our hotel, than it did to actually fly from London to Zurich.
Once in the hotel, we ate breakfast (devoured the buffet, basically) and then headed off to do radio interviews. Following that, I briefly danced with Jetlag (an insane half hour when it seemed like I would drop into a sleep that I couldn't rouse myself from) and have sorted the room, and unpacked thoroughly. The room is now meticulously organised, and I feel great.
Dinner in a couple of hours - then I'll attempt to get a decent night's sleep. I suspect it'll fall short, but that's life.

OK, time to head out on the road

Today, I fly to Brazil. And, I have to say - i'm ready to hit the road, I really am. I need some time, and space. Life is so hectic, right now - and the pressures are legion. I need a respite.